I was trying to do this nice serious sounding post on alien abduction, but I was failing rather miserably, so I’m just going to wing it, simply because it’s more fun that way. Not to mention I’m goofier when I wing it. I don’t know why exactly, but it probably has something to do with the utter madness holding my brain together like dark matter does for the universe.
First off, I love the subject of alien abduction. There is just something oh so scary, yet utterly weird that draws me to it. Also that weird alien dream I had years ago doesn’t help. Of course if I really wanted to get farther into it, I could trace it back to when I was 6 or 7 years old. You see when you’re a wee little impressionable young lad and your father happens to let you watch a show on alien abduction…well it just sort of scars you for life, except in my case where the cogs in my wee little kid brain turned and said “Groovy.”
Now let’s see where do I begin on this…well I’ll just assume that most of you all know the standard alien abduction scenario, so I’ll skip right over the whole being involuntarily taken aboard a flying saucer bit, where they strap you down, do weird intrusive medical procedures, hyper stimulate your emotions, then try to block you from ever remembering the event. Wait…I just described it didn’t I? Oh well…move along nothing to see here…
Ok so as it goes, the average person pretty much thinks those of us who believe in such phenomena are nuts. In my case you’re probably right (hey I did make a snow angel with no shirt on), but most others, especially the victims of the phenomenon, I must defend and say they are far from kooky, nuts, or any other mean spirited, overall jerk type of thing them skeptic people like to say. After all, how on earth can so many people share the same delusion as the skeptics would have us believe? It just makes no sense the way they try and pass it off as being one big hoax or illusion, which isn’t very groovy.
One of the most interesting parts of the whole abduction thing is that the aliens don’t hate lawyers. Why? Who knows, but the point is they’ll abduct just about anyone and everyone no matter what race, religion, disease, career, or credit rating you may be or have. It’s nice to know that at least someone out there is truly equal opportunity, even if they aren’t from our world. Not to mention that with the whole anti-discrimination stance of these aliens, they manage to abduct a lot of credible people who are far from being nuts or kooks. Most of these people have way too much riding on their professional careers and probably wouldn’t want their bosses to consider them weird unless it was at a company Halloween party, or if they knew for sure something weird did happen to them.
Now this is the part that I think straight up eliminates half of the options that the skeptics throw out there for abduction causes. Seizures, sleep paralysis, hallucinations, dreams, etc…they do not, no matter how dedicated they are, hold up to the fact that you can be abducted just about anywhere. People have been abducted from their cars, their beds, while camping, and even when rowing a boat. Oh, and I forgot to mention that in some cases, more then one person was abducted. So if you can explain to me why more then one person would suddenly have random sleep paralysis episodes while driving down the road, be my guest. I’ll lock you up and call you crazy for even trying to explain it. Don’t even get me started on what the chances are on a group of 3 or 4 people suddenly all having…oh never mind, I’ll just confuse everybody…
Anyways, the point of this post is that I really believe that there is something to the alien abduction phenomenon. There is just too much in common with all the different accounts for them all to be fake. Plus if aliens are willing to abduct you from more then just your home, you can’t just blame it all on bad dreams like them nutty skeptics. That to me is proof in itself…
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